But I Want to Fly
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you went all in on your dreams? If you’ve got big dreams and perhaps afraid to take flight, then you’ll love making time to listen to this episode because Kindness Influencer and Podcast Host, Marly Q, plus special guest, Michelle Villalobos, will awaken your inner superstar, spark your courage, and remind you that it’s never too late to dust off your dreams and dive into your destiny. Tune in and be prepared to FLY!
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“The wound is where the light enters you.” ~ Rumi
Without a clear and compelling vision driving us forward, there will be no progress for mankind. In order to “be the change we wish to see in the world” we must first be able to envision that new world. A world where all humankind is responsible for upholding a standard of kindness towards ourselves, each other and the world we all share.
Listen to this Episode and Discover…
- The spark that awakened Marly Q’s inner superstar to step on stage
- Michelle’s inspirational journey becoming an author
- How inspiration can come from embracing pain, anger, loss and grief
- What happens when you befriend your fears
- The power of taking responsibility for your life – all of it
- The importance of self-kindness first
- How having standards and boundaries is actually kind
If you’ve ever dreamt of doing something so big that it seemed crazy, scary or just impossible to achieve, then tune in to this short episode to receive the spark of inspiration you need to start flying today!
About Marly Q:
Kindness Influencer, Leadership Trainer, and Community-Builder on a mission to create a kinder world for over two decades. Through her podcast, she invites listeners to make “Time to Be Kind” each week to receive a spark of kindness, connection and community.
Connect with Marly Q:
About Our Guest:
Michelle Villalobos is devoted to “activating Superstars to uplift humanity.” She’s an International Speaker, Business Coach and the Founder of Superstar Activator. She’s also the Host of the Awaken Your Inner Superstar Podcast and Author of “But I Want To Fly” – Adventure Book for Dreamers of All Ages.
Connect with Michelle Villalobos
Podcast: Awaken Your Inner Superstar Episode 51 with Marly Q: https://blog.superstaractivator.com/podcast/marly-q/
Join our Kind QREW Free Private Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/kindqrew
Join our Kind QREW+ Paid Membership: https://marlyq.com/kind-qrew
Programs & Courses: https://marlyq.com/programs
Marly Q Speaking, Training & Retreats: https://sparkcsr.com
Listen to Marly Q TEDx Talk “Kindness is your Superpower”: https://bit.ly/MarlyQTEDxTalk
00:00 Marly Q
Have you ever dreamt of doing something so big that it seemed scary, crazy, or just impossible to achieve? Well, this short Episode will inspire you to awaken your inner superstar and remind us all that it’s never too late to dust off your dreams and dive into your destiny.
00:31 Marly Q
Welcome. Thank you so much for making Time to Be Kind with me, Marly Q, and our special guest PARKer today. I can’t wait for you to meet this superstar. Welcome to the show, Michelle Villalobos.
00:42 Michelle Villalobos
Thank you, Marly. I’m excited to be here.
00:45 Marly Q
So before we dive in, in case you’re new to my world, that this is the first time making Time to Be Kind. What is or who is a PARKer? Michelle, can you tell our audience listening?
00:55 Michelle Villalobos
Yes, I can. A PARKer is a person who Performs Acts of Random Kindness. And I heard that term from you, Marly maybe 13, 14 years ago.
01:07 Marly Q
Yes! And now it’s part of the lingo and we’re spreading these acronyms and this lingo worldwide. I have this dream that one day it’ll be like in the dictionary. It’s just a verb. It’s a, you know, it’s a noun. It’s a PARKer, my verb PARK, and all this lingo will be part of our normal language. What do you think?
01:23 Michelle Villalobos
Wooh! I like it. I like that world.
01:25 Marly Q
So PARKers listening. Michelle Villalobos was one of my very first business coaches and really one of my first big clients when I first started my business over 12 years ago. Michelle Villalobos is the founder of the Superstar Activator. She’s an international speaker. She’s a coach. She’s the host of the Awaken Your Inner Superstar Podcast, which I’ve been on. I’ll link it in the show notes. And she is the author of the beautiful book “But I Want to Fly”, which is an adventure book for dreamers of all ages. I’m so excited about this new creation of yours. And I just want you to just dive right in and tell us about the inspiration behind this beautiful book.
2:06 Michelle Villalobos
Great. Okay. So the first thing I think is important to understand is that I’ve never done anything like this before. It’s way, way outside of my area of expertise, my comfort zone. I’ll just show you this is the book right here. So anyone would have thought that my book would be a business book, right? But this, it’s a poem. It’s about a four-and-a-half-minute-long poem. It rhymes. And it came to me in a dream about two years ago. And it just wouldn’t let go of me. The story, the word, the journey that that character goes on. It became, you know, I just couldn’t not follow the path or follow the signs and follow the calling is what it was. So it’s my story. It’s your story. It’s pretty much I think all of our stories. It’s an archetypal mythic journey of breaking down, breaking through, and then finding the blessing on the backside.
3:02 Marly Q
Yes, that’s such a beautiful and succinct way to put that. This you know, because you might look at it and think, oh it’s a children’s book, right? It’s an adventure book for dreamers of all ages, right? And I actually read this book with my two kids, a two-year-old and a four-year-old. And I don’t think you had a two-year-old and a four-year-old in mind for your audience, right?
03:19 Michelle Villalobos
Well, the truth is I didn’t have anybody in mind for my audience. It came to me in a dream and I just woke up in the middle of the night and wrote the whole poem in about two hours, most of it. And then, you know, fleshed it out more, but I never intended it for anybody. It was just a thing that poured through me. And at one point I did text it to my clients. I was like, hey, look at this poem I wrote. And they responded and I was like, wow, that’s interesting that they loved it so much. And I just started to share it with my friends and my family and people. They felt something. And because they felt something, I knew I had something important. And so I just started to let it unfold. And it was a series of just random conversations with people that led me to even find an illustrator. Somebody’s like, you could turn that into a book and you could do a keynote about this poem. And I was like, yeah, I kind of could. And it just, it sort of took on a life of its own. And here it is. And it was a very easy, graceful process, which I think, honestly, in hindsight, you know, I had made a claim for myself a few months before that, that I was going to start creating from pleasure. The reason that happened was because I had a realization that I always wanted to be creative. I was a creative person. I am a creative person, an artist even, but that I hadn’t created anything for myself ever or in many years. I’d only created for money, for clients, for selling. And the realization I had is, you know, I excuse the language, but that I was pimping myself out, pimping out My inner artist wants to create for pleasure. And so I had made that claim. And then I don’t know, I guess it was a few months later. I don’t know the exact timeline. This thing happened and I took on whatever I create with this. It’s going to be from pleasure. It’s not going to be, yeah, maybe I’ll sell it. Maybe I won’t, but I’m just going to pursue it because I want to not because I’m trying to sell something.
05:10 Marly Q
That’s so beautiful. And let’s speak to that because, for our audience, that’s listening that may not know, right? You started off by saying, this is something completely brand new and not something not we would have expected maybe from Michelle Villalobos who talks about business and personal branding. I mean, if we look back to when I first started my business in 2010, my first company, which was an event planning company, and I was running and managing an event and you were speaking and I heard you talk about personal branding and how you need to be, you know, like the face of your business and promote yourself, right? And I’m here in the back of the room eventing like, what is she talking about? It was like this novel idea to me and I was hustling and working so hard. And I’m like, let me listen to this woman. She’s got something, right? I gave you my card. You put me on your list. Back then you were producing Miami’s largest two-day conference for entrepreneurial women, the wildly successful women success summit. Which I was so forever, so grateful to have worked alongside with you. For four years she produced multiple of those events. And I will never forget. I’ll never forget. One day you needed an Emcee, you needed someone to come on stage and introduce you or like stall or something, right? And you were like, Marly you go to do that, you are a natural speaker, go and get the mic. And I was like, no, my immediate reaction was like, no, no, no. Like I’m backstage, I’m behind the scenes. I’m supporting you back here. I’m not going to get on stage and this is your spotlight. I’m not going to steal your thunder. And I remember you laughed at me. Like, that’s so cute. You’re a natural get out there and you’re not going to steal my thunder. Like, do you know who I am? You didn’t say it like that, but basically, you were like, you’re not going to steal my spotlight. If anything, you’re going to amplify the light, get out there. And I remember being super scared. And up until that point had Emcee that had spoken, but I wasn’t selling, you know, my voice, so to speak. I wasn’t selling my voice as a speaker and MC. And from that day, you know, like you pushed me to fly. You pushed me out there and kind of see me or see me as more than I saw myself at that time. And that wasn’t just dozen years ago, Michelle, you have continued to be that, like beacon of light and inspiration kind of like 10 or 20 steps ahead. Right. I have a dream of writing a children’s book. Now that I’m a mom, you come out with one and I’m like, yes, I need to just keep, you know, feeding from this beautiful energy and that from which you create, which is energy richness. I think it’s safe to say you and I both were not operating from an energy-rich place back then. Right?
07:30 Michelle Villalobos
Absolutely not. What I know now from so much personal development and spiritual work that I’ve done is that well, this is what my mentor said, this is her line, her name is NaniLea Diamond. I think you know of her. You do know of her. I introduced you to her. She says, “the energy from which we create guides and determines the energy of what we create”. And it’s so simple and it’s so profound. And because back then I was creating from desperation, fear, pride, needing significance, needing security. You know, there were all these, I was creating everything I created, including that amazing event. And I’m not saying it was all, it was wonderful. And it was from the energy of that proving myself. And now I’m much, much more attuned to what energy am I coming from as I leave anything, market anything, produce anything, sell anything, much, much more aware. It changes everything. Yeah, it’s a game changer.
08:27 Marly Q
It is definitely a game changer. You know, what else is a game changer? Tell me about what happens when you decide to make fear your friend.
08:34 Michelle Villalobos
That’s a line from the book. Yeah, it’s a signal. I mean, it’s here. Let me backup a second because there’s something that precedes the fear, or I hope it does anyway. I would like to bring this forward, which is desire. And desire is becoming just such a big important word that describes a really important phenomenon, which is what I’m calling now. I’m saying that desire is destiny’s calling card. Desire is destiny’s calling card. So first, the desire, like when we tap into real desire, you know when it’s from deep within from our truest self when there’s a desire like that’s really important. And I never thought that was important. I always thought that really honestly almost thought the opposite that if I really desired something I should stay away from it because it was dangerous or that it was impossible or I shouldn’t have real desire. I didn’t want to get too excited about things or too attached to things because then I’d be disappointed like my relationship to my own desire was really kind of messed up in hindsight. And so what this book does as it puts desire first. Desire and dreams, right? And desire is distinct from like, I desire a cheesecake, right? That’s different. That’s a craving. Or I desire, you know, the latest handbag or, you know, those are often cravings to cover up desire. And what I’m talking about is like tapping into your truest desire. What is your heart’s desire? And my heart’s desire has always been to create and share what I create with people. Like, you know, an artist, create live experiences. I mean ultimately the Women’s Success Summit was born of that desire also. So that’s the underlying desire. And so from desire and from honoring our own desire, then what can happen is the fear pops up. And I honestly think that fear can be a friend because it’s a signal that there’s something valuable here that matters. That it’s a signal for, yeah, that it’s significant, that it’s important. And it’s a way to highlight what needs to be done, right? Like, so if V in the book weren’t afraid of crashing probably wouldn’t have made a very good set of wings to fly, right? So that fear became her friend because it fueled her focus towards making an excellent airplane, right? So I gave away kind of that. But that’s that’s how the fear we can turn it around and make it our friend by focusing it and funneling it and fueling it towards something that’s going to serve us and support us rather than letting it stop us.
11:02 Marly Q
Absolutely. I think that that’s also a game changer. When we learn to be aware of fear, when it comes up, right? In all its different ways that it comes up, be aware of it. And rather than allowing it to kind of dim our light or keep us from pursuing that desire relating to that fear with like, okay? I know why you’re here, right? To keep me safe and small and in my little, you know, world where I don’t, you know, risk, right? Risk being seen or risk failing or risk falling, right? I absolutely love the journey that V in the book goes through. I do agree with you that I think it’s all of our story, right? It’s kind of the dark knight of the soul is definitely portrayed there. So can you talk to me a little bit about or talk to us about the importance of like self kindness, right? When you’re talking, when you’re thinking about your desires and your goals and what you wish to achieve. What’s the role that self kindness plays?
11:57 Michelle Villalobos
Well, I think that it’s so easy to not be kind to ourselves and to beat ourselves up and to right like? I know for myself, I’ll speak for myself and maybe it’ll resonate. One of the ways that I would get myself to do things was to like beat myself up or to like force myself or you know, like I never trusted myself enough. I didn’t trust myself enough period. And so because I was almost in like mind games and manipulation games with my own self, like how do I force myself to do this? How do I force myself to do that? You know, and I created a lot of ways of being that were around forcing myself to be ways and do things that I wasn’t naturally, that I didn’t, you know, that were not natural. And so that’s really unkind. And I think that being kind to ourself is about honoring our experience, honoring what we’re feeling when we’re feeling it. That was part of the story too. And it’s my story as well, which was that I had suppressed so many emotions for so long that the minute my heart cracked open even a little bit to feel some pain, it all kind of poured out, It just spilled out. It was very destructive in my life and it needed to happen There’s you know, there’s absolutely zero regret now. Because I know that, that was my body trying to clean out and clear out stuff that it had been holding onto for a really long time and that was kindness. I don’t know that I did it consciously, but I gave myself the space in 2014 when I had my breakdown to be broken for a while to like let myself just break all the way down. I don’t think that you necessarily have to break all the way down to break through like I did. I think that I had plenty of warning signs and red flags that I ignored. And for me, that’s what it took. That’s the wake up call I needed.
13:46 Marly Q
I so understand that you and I, for PARKers listening, Michelle and I are both Virgos. And I think that Virgos have this interesting quality of being a little bit stubborn, maybe a little critical and we’re like the worst critical with ourselves, right? So I really, that does resonate with me. And there’s this beautiful quote that I know you quote often from Rumi. Can you share with us ?
14:08 Michelle Villalobos
The wound is where the light enters you.
14:10 Marly Q
Yeah, right. So what happens when you go all in and accept responsibility, right, for your life, for all of it, right? And embrace all of it, right? Whether it’s pain and sadness and regret, right? What happens when you embrace and accept responsibility for all of it?
14:26 Michelle Villalobos
It’s the ultimate empowerment. It’s the only, it’s the avenue toward true empowerment, different from force, right? From forcing, manipulating, power play, all the ways that we try to manage life. There’s that. And then there’s real power, which is literally just like, I own it, whatever it is. It doesn’t mean I’m to blame for it, but I own it. It’s mine. The example that’s very hard for some people to get. So it can be a little triggering for people. So I want to be mindful, you know, how I express it, but it is the best example that I know, which is I have a friend, a client got pretty serious cancer, you know, like a very advanced aggressive cancer. And she spent months, Why me? Why is this happening? Very, very disempowered and sad and angry. And she had a breakthrough, you know at one point where she basically said, what if I just choose it? What if I just choose it now? I wouldn’t have decided. If you’d given me choices, cancer, no cancer, I wouldn’t have picked cancer. Nobody would. The fact is that I have it. I have it. It’s here. What if I just own it? What if I just say, all right, I choose this path. I choose this. Whatever is happening I’m choosing it. And from that place of choosing it, all of a sudden, her whole attitude around it changed. I mean, first of all, she chose like, if I’m meant to die from this, I’m going to choose that too. Like I’m going to trust whatever is happening here. And what that looked like for her ended up being a huge breakthrough in faith, in empowerment. She ended up, you know, walking away from a relationship that she’d been in for many years. She ended, she made all these changes to her life from this place of, okay, I’m choosing this thing that nobody would ever want. I’m choosing it like I chose it for real. And that changed everything. She was empowered around it. So I’m not saying you take responsibility from a place of like, I’m my fault that I got cancer. I deserved it. I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying that she just chose it because it was.
16:24 Marly Q
That makes perfect sense. You know, the way that I relate to responsibility, because the old me would kind of associate with responsibility. Like it’s the whole, you know, the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I am, you know, the one that needs to come in and save the day or the one to blame or the one at the end of the day. And with events, honestly, like my toxic relationship with events definitely contributed to this belief because at the end of the day, something goes wrong in an event. I’m the one that’s going to take the face, you know, in the blame quote unquote for it. But now in a much more empowered state, when I say that, you know, I’m accepting responsibility for all of my life. I just mean that I am able to respond to all that life throws at me. “Responsibility” I have the responsibility, the ability to respond, right? And that is an empowered state because you have the ability to respond to cancer, to a diagnosis, to a job loss, to the pandemic, to losing your business. You have the ability to respond right? And if you come from it, from that place, then, you know, your new creation or your pivot or whatever it is that you’re meant to do next can actually flow through, right. Rather than kind of staying stuck in old identity right? Can you talk to us about how to avoid like freezing yourself in like old stories that disempower you?
17:35 Michelle Villalobos
Yeah, I think one of the things that we do. I don’t think I know that one of the things that I do is I become very identified with roles with certain roles that I’m, you know, I had a role in high school. I was an excellent student. I was a high achiever. I took on the role of, you know, like up and coming executive, right? Like role of speaker, role of coach, role of author, you know, I’ve always, I think we, a lot of us do this very much identify with what I do as if it were who I am. And so one of the biggest things that I’ve worked on with mentorship and with the personal development and the spiritual development has been disidentifying from roles and understanding that these are roles that I play. These are things that I do. These are not who I am. And that there’s a true center that is beyond all of that. That’s beyond all of this. And that’s very empowering as well to know that at any moment I can choose a different role. I can choose a different way of being rather than getting caught up in an identity or a role that requires me to act certain ways, right? Like that’s what I’ve been letting go of. I don’t know if that was your question though.
18:49 Marly Q
It does because we kind of freeze or box ourselves into these roles and these hats and these identities. You know, you’ve been part of my journey, Michelle It has taken me over a dozen years to detach from the role of event planner. I am a master event planner. I’ve been doing it for 20 years or ten thousand hours of event planning and strategizing and managing, right? And I’m like, and working with you and Jessica Kizorek, the both of you kind of gave me this first like perspective of like, you’re more than that. Like you have so much more to offer. And I’m like, really? I do? I don’t know. But that’s what pays my bills my whole life. Like that’s my bread and butter. And it’s taken me all this time. It took a pandemic and pregnancy and me to be like Ahh!, what am I going to do to kind of detach or decondition from all of the roles, all of the hats now. I’m a new person now. I’m a mom now, I am. And so when I go back out, quote unquote, into the world, do I want to tell people like what I do? Or do I just want to tell people who I am and what I’m passionate about and what I feel I’m called to do? And who I am?
20:17 Michelle Villalobos
You are particular, your mission is, is, is something you can lead with, you know, your knowledge.
20:21 Marly Q
Yes! You’ll be so happy to know that now I identify, I say, I am a Kindness Influencer. I am a Kindness Influencer. That’s who I am. What do I do? Well, now I speak and I Emcee thanks to you. I Emcee now all over, all over the place, right? I speak and I Emcee, I’m doing leadership training and workshops and retreats, right? Which is also something that I’ve seen you model and do, right? And I’m following your retreat blueprint for success as well. I’m on the way, right? But it really took, it really took a pause and it took like Time to Be Kind to me, right? I took a big pause on this podcast. I took a pause to do personal, like healing and development and be able to come back with standards. Well like a different standard of how I treat myself, a different standard for how I treat others, a different standard for how I value time and boundaries, right? Can we talk about the importance of setting boundaries and standards and how that’s actually kind?
20:50 Michelle Villalobos
Absolutely. Well, it’s funny because we’re just now, yesterday was the equinox, I think, or maybe Sunday, but just now we had the equinox, which one of my mentors who I mentioned earlier, NaniLea, the lot of the work that she’s taught me how to do? Is how to align to the seasons and rhythms of nature. And so we have just moved from the season of winter to the season of spring. Season of winter being the season of receptivity in her blueprint, the season of receiving the new message, the new dream, the new idea. It’s where we get bare, just like the trees are bare. We just get bare down to the essentials. And then from that place of the seed germinating underground in the dark months of the winter, now we’re at the beginning of the spring where the seed starts to pop through the surface and that you know, the things start to flourish again. And in the world of us as humans, how that looks is moving into this from the season of listening deeply, being receptive, getting the new message, the new dream, the new idea into the season of embodiment, which is the season of beginning the build. So in the world of V, it’s the season where she gets into the workshop and she starts to make the thing. She starts to plan and envision and create and glue and cut and sew and all of that. And that’s the season where standards and boundaries really start to come into play. Because now we’re bringing something from up here, where it’s in our little world, in our mind. Now we have to create space for it in our lives. And when we create space for something in our lives, we’re going to need boundaries around it. We’re going to need, like you know boundaries around who can give their opinion about the thing we’re building, boundaries around our time, so that we have time to focus on it, right? There’s all sorts of ways that we need to, we get to create the standards and also create the boundaries to make space and make possible the new thing that we’re birthing.
22:43 Marly Q
Absolutely. I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of how I witness and observe how you have transformed and like alchemized, right? So many things along the path and I’m just here for it. I’m here for all of it. And I want to hear from you. Where can people buy your book? I mean, and what’s your vision for your book? I know you wrote it for your desire for yourself, but now that it’s out, now that I have it, hot in my hand right here. And I am gonna link it to my show notes. Tell us, what’s your vision for the book and how can we support it?
23:12 Michelle Villalobos
Well, okay. So first thing is you can get it and you can watch the video and you can get free tools that go with it at butiwanttofly.com, butiwanttofly.com, which is a line from the book that I pulled. And the picture that I pulled is the line that goes with it. So that’s the cover. It’s interesting that you should ask me this question about what’s my vision for it, because I literally have a different answer today than I did three days ago. And so I’ll share because and somebody.
23:39 Marly Q
You are hearing it first here, people hearing it first here.
23:42 Michelle Villalobos
You. Somebody gave me the exam, the feedback, I think yesterday like, gosh, Michelle, I love how you’re just not afraid to share where you are right in the middle of your creative process. I’m like, well, you know, here I am. Here we go. And he meant it as a compliment. I’m joking that he definitely meant it as a compliment. I took it as such. But what I’m seeing is I love to build events. You know this about me. I love my whole world is I always well, we could do this together. Then I come here and then we’ll do this, you know, have this conversation. Like I love events. I love philosophizing with people. I love going deep and having deep, meaningful, rich experiences. And over the last nine years, well, over the last 15, but in particular over the last nine, I’ve gotten really good at creating, taking people on a journey in a live event. So what I want to do is I want to start leading a, But I Want To Fly journey and experience. It’s like a three hours half day kind of vibe, basically to take people on their own journey toward agh! clarity of vision, purpose, like to walk through, like letting go, building courage, right? It’s a whole experience, you know, laying down, integrating it with breathwork, like a breathwork, you know, somatic experience that will be, you know, some sort of breakthrough for people.
25:05 Marly Q
I’m so excited!
25:06 Michelle Villalobos
That’s what I want to do, and the way I see it connecting with everything is, you know, people come in, they get the book, maybe they come to my live experience. And together, you know, the call to action is essentially if you want to lead your own groups and experiences and workshops and what I’m doing, I lead retreats, I lead this half day thing, I lead a group of people for you know, in a group coaching program, a mastermind, if you want to lead a community, create a culture of people doing something together then I can help you do that let’s have a conversation. So that’s the, that’s how it all ties together now.
25:41 Marly Q
Oh, the alignment is beautiful. The alignment shines. I love it, friends. I will link everything in this episode’s show notes. Michelle, thank you so much. So, so much for making Time to Be Kind, and thank you for all eternity. As many times as I can share it on as many stages as I can. Thank you for awakening my inner superstar and just being such a supporter and a light in my path and my journey. Thank you for making Time to Be Kind.
26:08 Michelle Villalobos
Thank you, Marly.
I know you found that conversation just as inspiring as I did. And I want to leave you with this quote straight from Michelle’s book in case that it resonates with you. “Her heart whispered, it’s time to let go. And her mind shot back. Why? All we need is in this nest. But I want to fly.” If you want to fly too, then I invite you to visit marlyq.com forward slash this Episode number to get all the links to connect with Michelle, check out her book, and to share it. And I also wanna make sure to invite you to join our Kind QREW. Over 300 people have already said yes to being a part of our worldwide community of people who perform acts of random kindness. And I hope that that includes you. Again, easily find the link to join our private Facebook group plus the links to connect with Michelle at marlyq.com forward slash this episode number. Thanks for making Time to Be Kind. See you next time.
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