Don’t Quit on YOU with Marly Q
Did you know that March is the supposed time of the year when most people either forget or give up on their goals? Have you? No judgment here, only kindness. Tune into this short episode to discover three toxic lies that can prevent you from achieving your goals plus Marly Q will show you how to BRAG, reclaim ownership of your TIME, banish BUSY-ness and extend an invitation to learn the “SMARTEST’ way to achieve to your goals.
Listen to this Episode and Discover….
- Three Toxic Lies That Will Keep You From Achieving Your Goals
- You have Permission to “BRAG”
- How to Stop Being Too “BUSY’
- A Mindset Shift from Time Management to “TIME” Ownership
- There’s a “SMARTEST” Way to Achieve Your Goals
Click here to register: SMARTEST Planning Workshop
About Marly Q:
Kindness Influencer, Leadership Trainer, and Community-Builder on a mission to create a kinder world for over two decades. Through her podcast, she invites listeners to make “Time to Be Kind” each week to receive a spark of kindness, connection and community.
Connect with Marly Q:
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/MarlyQ
Instagram: https://instagram.com/MarlyQ
Facebook: https://facebook.com/theMarlyQ
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@MarlyQ
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarlyQ
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theMarlyQ
Listen to Marly Q TEDx Talk “Kindness is your Superpower”: https://bit.ly/MarlyQTEDxTalk
Join our Kind QREW Free Private Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/kindqrew
Join our Kind QREW+ Paid Membership: https://marlyq.com/kind-qrew
Programs & Courses: https://marlyq.com/programs
Marly Q Speaking, Training & Retreats: https://sparkcsr.com
EP 32: Let’s Start with Why (and How)
EP 31: Kindness Matters 365 with Laura Reiss
EP 29: Kindness Heals Loss with Dr. Betsy Guerra
TRANSCRIPTION:
00:00
March is the month where most people have completely forgotten about their goals or have fallen off the track towards achieving them. And if that’s you don’t worry, you’re listening to the right episode. Because here we’re about to discover the three toxic lies that will keep you from achieving your goals. Stay Tuned!
00:29
Welcome. And thank you for making time to be kind with me, Marly Q and you today, just you and I PARKer, person that Performs Acts of Random Kindness listening out there. If this is your first time making Time to be Kind with me just know that you are PARKer and we are parking this time together to exchange this energy of kindness, connection and community. So welcome, thanks for making the time today.
00:58
I wanted to record this episode because March is the time of year where so many people have completely forgotten about their New Year’s resolutions if that’s something that they set or they’ve kind of forgotten about the goal that they started. This is the time of the year where most gym floors have started to dwindle down, right? The gym and the yoga memberships have started to dwindle the start of the year and goal getting energy has kind of settled. Right! And if that’s you don’t worry because in this episode, we are going to uncover three toxic lies that will keep you from achieving your goals and many times will inspire you to quit on your goals. And today the message is don’t quit, Don’t Quit on YOU or what’s important to you and your goals. Many times when we’ve fallen off the track on what we set out to do, it’s probably just because we weren’t that emotionally attached to the goal to begin with, right?
01:54
I go through a process with my clients called the SMARTEST Planning Framework. And Smartest is an eight step kind of planning framework to help think through what it is that you want to achieve, right? Whether it’s a personal professional goal, whether it’s an event, a book launch, a product launch, a new business, any goal that you are out to crush and achieve this year, my framework can really help to bring some clarity, which is so important, right? The the address that you’re going to put in the GPS, where are we going? Right? Some clarity on exactly what it is that we’re trying to achieve some confidence that we’re able to achieve that thing, right? And also some like calm and focus and presence so that we enjoy the journey along the way towards achieving it, right? Because what fun is it to, you know, work really hard on achieving a goal, you get there and then you just, you didn’t even get to savor it, right? Or all you experienced along the way was like stress and worry and anxiety and, and angst, right?
02:57
Rather than like this is the process of achieving a goal, right? So for example, in December, I hosted my Smartest Planning workshop for a small group of people. And at that workshop, I declared my goal was I need to start the gym again. I need to start strength training here. I am a mom of two. It’s been about four, if I’m really honest, five years since I had stepped foot into a gym, like with weights and weight training and I was scared, I mean, I kept up with my yoga practice, right? And my stretches and my meditation and all that. But really strengthening my core, picking up weights running around. I have not done that in quite some time and I had a lot of resistance and I had a lot of lies that I was telling myself, right, that we’re probably all guilty of, right? So before I jump into what those three in particular toxic lies, that’ll keep you from achieving your goals. I want to BRAG for a moment. I want to BRAG, BRAG is an acronym for Be Real And Grateful.
03:54
So I want to use this time to BRAG and share that I have been successfully going to the gym 4 to 5 times a week since January 1st of 2023. And the recording of this episode, and I’m wanna continue going because what I’ve done now is moved past the mental resistance. And let me be honest with you, I still have days where I’m like, Oh God! I don’t want to go. But now after I have built a habit, right? My body wants me to go to the gym and move right and feel strong and healthy.
04:27
So if that’s you listening, if you had a personal goal, whether it was to get back to the gym or to start yoga or some kind of like physical health related goal. This is not a time for judgment, this is a time for kindness, right? And a kind of nudge and a kind reminder that you can do it and you can start in a small way and don’t quit on you, don’t quit on what’s important to you, don’t quit on your goals, don’t believe this narrative that you know, it’s National Quitting Day. And in March, everybody just like drops their goals. You are not part of this narrative. And actually, I want to invite you to set a date and come with me and spend a half a day planning with me Friday, March 31st of 2023. I will be hosting my next half day virtual workshop for a small group of people who want to crush their goals, want to achieve their goals. The smartest way, right?
05:19
Smartest, I’m using air quotes here because I’m not saying it’s the smartest planning framework in the world, right? You may be familiar with smart goals or some other kind of planning framework, right? And those are all great. But for me, the smartest way to achieve your goal involves a particular set of questions that you probably never thought to ask. Not only did you never think to ask them, you probably never stopped long enough to ask them. Sometimes we have a goal in mind and we just jump in, right? And like get into the action of doing without really committing to the goal emotionally, mentally and with a plan that actually supports you to get through it when it’s tough. To get through it, when you don’t want to put on the shoes and go out there, to get through when it’s cold outside or raining and you don’t want to go to the gym. For example, just to use that that as an example, right? So let’s jump into these three toxic lies that will keep you from achieving your goals. And if you are guilty of believing one of these three lies just know, there’s no shame or guilt or judgment here.
06:20
The only reason that I know there are three toxic lies is because I believed them. So I am sharing them with you so that we can bring light to these lies and set us free with like the truth, right? The truth that your goals are important, don’t quit on you.
And the first toxic lie that gets us not focused on our goals that that moves us off the track of achieving our goals is this lie that I know what it takes to achieve this goal, right? Believing that, you know, or don’t know what it takes to achieve your goal is a belief or a lie that will keep you from achieving it, right? The belief is it’s good to know and it’s bad to not know. So if you have a goal and you don’t know exactly how you’re going to achieve it immediately, your mind starts putting up roadblocks that you can’t achieve it because you don’t know. And that’s bad that you don’t know what to do or who to go to or how to make progress on this goal, right?
07:17
So that’s the first lie that we like, maybe even subconsciously are telling ourselves you’re not even aware of is that you believe that you have to know, how to achieve your goal in order to get started, is that you? Do you believe that you need to know how you’re going to achieve your goal before you get started? If so that might be a toxic lie that is sabotaging you and getting in the way of you actually achieving that goal and getting started in a small way. Right?
07:42
So we want to flip that I know mentality or that I know mindset into one that’s all I know is that I know nothing. All I know is that I want to achieve this goal, that I have this desire in my heart to achieve it and that’s enough. That’s a great place to start with the clarity of what you know, you want to achieve, but you don’t know how to get it done, that’s okay. Don’t let that stop you from achieving your goal. Don’t let that be the lie that has you quit on your goals. No way, not today.
08:12
The second toxic lie that will keep you from achieving your goals is this lie that we tell people all the time that we tell ourselves this lie of, I’m busy, I’m too busy to pick up that book that I really want to finish or to start or finish that course that I bought. I’m too busy to go back to school or take that class or attend that event that I know is going to propel my career or my business forward. I’m too busy to book that vacation or attend that retreat. Right?
08:42
This I’m too busy is a lie that will keep you from making the time that you need to make in order to focus on your goals. And what I’m here to tell you is that if you feel that you’re too busy to make any kind of progress on your most important goals. I’m here to tell you that you are being busy only doing two things. You are Being Unaware and Stressing Yourself. That’s my acronym for BUSY. You are being unaware and stressing yourself.
09:09
If you ever feel that you are too busy, you’re too busy to focus on your goals. You’re too busy to make time to be kind to you and focus on making progress on the things that are most important to you. You are probably being really busy, being unaware and stressing yourself. And what I mean by that is that instead of being busy with all this outside flurry of things that we always have to do, need to do, should do, must do. And we continue continuously ignore what we truly want to be doing and achieving for ourselves, what we’re telling ourselves. I’m too busy for you and that gets to a point where your soul yourself is like, hey, what about me? What do you mean you’re too busy for me? And it will find another way to express itself and get your attention, right? So if you feel that you are too busy to focus on your goal, know that you’re being unaware and stressing yourself. Because your mind and your heart still wants to achieve that goal. But you’re not giving it the time and the attention that it is requesting of you, right? So I want to invite you to flip that acronym.
10:06
Flip that BUSY acronym and get busy Being Unapologetically Supporting Yourself. Get really busy being unapologetically supporting yourself and watch you not just achieve your goals but watch your whole life and your wellness and even mental health be enriched because now you’re real busy on what’s most important, which is you and what’s important to you and everything else that you can be busy focused on your goals without sacrificing any of your other responsibilities.
10:37
The problem is that we have been prioritizing every other goal, everyone else’s goals over our own goals. And that’s when we get busy being unaware and stressing yourself, right? That’s when it doesn’t feel good when we know that we’re not focused on what we truly desire in our life or professionally. Right?
10:56
So that’s the second lie that we need to banish, right? Is I’m too busy and get busy being unapologetically supporting yourself. Toxic line number three, that will keep you from achieving your goals is I don’t have time. How many of us, if we are being really honest have said I don’t have time. I don’t have time to pick up that class. I don’t have time to, you know, learn the new language. I don’t have time to read that book. I don’t have time. I don’t have time. I don’t have time. I know I have been incredibly guilty of using this lie. And the truth is that we actually don’t have time. So the lie is believing that you have time. I think the Buddha has a quote that says the problem is we think we have time.
11:37
The truth is that time is actually only happening right now in this moment that we’re experiencing together. And my acronym for time that helped me change my mindset and my relationship with time from a place of time and management where I was always just trying to control time and manipulate time and, and, and possess time and, and give time and, and all of that to a place of time ownership where I am clear on the value of my time. And I changed that acronym to be a more empowering one.
12:11
To me. The definition of TIME to me is This Is My Experience. When we begin to relate to the time that we’ve been given on this earth as a gift, I receive this time as my experience, this is my experience. You will begin to make different choices about what you do with your time because you will value it more instead of just constantly giving it away, right? To every opportunity, every distraction, right? That comes our way. We get to own our time more and say this is my experience. How do I want to experience my life? Right? Are you on this earth to just exist and try and worry about time and manage time and obsess over time. Or are we here to experience the time that we have on this earth, however short or long we don’t know. That’s what makes it precious, right? So time, this is my experience. And if you find yourself that you’re using time as an excuse or a lie, the other side of that acronym for me is This Is My Excuse.
13:08
This is my experience or this is my excuse, which one of those acronyms do you want to own today? One of them has the hat of time management. One of them has the hat of time ownership. This is my experience. And when we begin to relate to time differently, then we begin to make time for the things that are actually most important to us. And you will realize that you actually can make time to do all of the things that you say are most important to you.
13:38
I’m wanna to tell you the truth right now. My friends, you and I will never ever have or feel that we have enough time to do all of the things that we want to do, need to do, should do, must do, right? We’re never going to feel that we have enough time, but we know we can feel good about knowing that we always can make time for what is most important in this moment of experience. When you practice making time to be kind and check in with yourself, what are your needs and what is this experience that you wish to have, right? On this given day. You get to create that for yourself, the more that we practice. But first, it starts with changing kind of our mindset and our relationship with time. From time management where you’re trying to control and manipulate time to time ownership where you are in one with it and you’re experiencing it right now, in this moment in time, this is my experience.
14:31
So these three toxic lies of, I know or I must know how to achieve my goal, I’m busy and I don’t have time. These three toxic lives will keep you from achieving your goals. And what we want to do is flip those into empowering statements, right? So, all I know is that I want to achieve this goal. I don’t need to know how yet. I’m busy being unapologetically supporting yourself in the direction of the goals that you see. And I make time because this is my experience and I’m making time to focus on the things that are most important to me.
15:04
If these three toxic lies resonated with you or the truth that set you free, actually set you free today. I’d love to hear about it. Engage with me over on our private Facebook page if you’re not part of our Kind QREW Facebook group yet, what you’re waiting for? Click the link in this episode’s show notes. It’ll be right there for you to click and request access to join us. And we can have a conversation about which one of these three lies have you believed? Are you ready to toss out the door with the truth? I would really love to hear about it, right? And I would also love to invite you to attend my next Smartest planning workshop. It’s coming up Friday, March 31st, 2023. And if you’re listening to this after this date, please still click the link on the show notes because I’m going to be hosting these workshops on a quarterly basis. And you really want to schedule time to be kind to you and actually plan out your goals.
16:01
See, I’ve been planning goals and events and achievements practically all of my life. If it takes 10,000 hours to be a master at anything people, I am a master planner. I have helped myself and dozens of clients achieve their goals over the past two decades, successfully. With clarity, with confidence and with calm and peace of mind that you are on the quest and the right path to get to that goal that you are after, right?
16:27
Whether it’s an event, a book launch, a business, what have you. Any goal, personal, professional, philanthropic this system, this framework works. So, I want to teach you my Smartest Planning Framework and not just teach you, but this is an implementation workshop. It’s a small group, virtual event where we get to roll up our sleeves and actually work in a small group setting and one on one with me to laser coach you through any areas that you might be stuck as it relates to your goals, right?
16:56
You get to pick my brain, I get to laser focus on you and your goal and you will leave this half day workshop with a plan of action, right? And more importantly than a plan of action with the right energy to get you in motion and keep you going towards your goals. On this month of March, we’re not talking about quitting on our goals.
17:16
You will not quit on you and your goals. This is the month where you get even more committed to it. I want to help you do that, join me March 31st. It’s a personal invitation again, I keep it to a small group. So, I am promoting it here on my podcast. You are the first to hear about it. So click the link in the show notes to learn more and sign up today. I would love to have you and I would love to be that kind friend that nudges you on the shoulder and helps to hold you accountable to achieving your goals this year. May it be your year to achieve your goals, the smartest way.
OUTRO
Thank you for making this Time to be Kind with me today. I hope you enjoyed this short episode and found it inspiring. If you did, please feel free to leave us a comment rate and review on your favorite podcast player because it helps us to amplify our message and our movement to spread kindness worldwide. Thank you again for being the spark of kindness visit Marly Q dot com forward slash this episode number for the full transcription and the show notes, plus the links to my planning workshop. Thanks again for making time to be kind with Marly Q. I’ll see you next time.
Click here to learn more and register: SMARTEST Planning Workshop
Join our Kind QREW Free Private Facebook Group: Click here to Join Now