Finding Balance with Dr. Adrian Mesa

Finding Balance with Dr. Adrian Mesa

Is there a formula or secret sauce to “finding balance”? Find out when you make Time to be Kind with Marly Q and Dr. Adrian Mesa. In this short episode, you’ll discover the one and only thing you can balance, the important roles that purpose, self-talk and kindness play in your overall mental health and wellness PLUS simple ways we can all do our part to end the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Tune in now for a no fluff, real talk discussion on what it takes to grow and maintain a healthy mind, starting now!

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“Nobody hears the cries of the poor or the sound of a wooden bell.” ~ Haitian proverb


Listen to this Episode and Learn…

    • Finding Balance in life isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept; it involves individual self-assessment, self-care, and self-analysis.
    • Pursuing only monetary gain does not contribute to a balanced life; finding personal purpose is crucial.
    • Maintaining mental health is key to achieving balance, and this requires self-reflection and understanding what matters to each individual.
    • Stigma around mental health is still a significant barrier for many seeking help, especially in cultures where seeking mental health support may be seen as a sign of weakness.
    • Kindness is reflective of one’s internal state; unkind behaviors often signify personal struggles.
    • Self-talk and the way we communicate with ourselves greatly impact our mental health and the way we interact with others.
    • Mental health education and openly talking about personal experiences with therapy can help break down stigma around mental health.
    • Regular self-check-ins and being aware of our mental state can help foster empathy and understanding towards others.
    • Suggesting professional help to someone showing signs of needing support should come from a place of kindness, compassion and empathy.
    • Openly having conversations about mental health and practicing “Mental Awareness Now” (MAN) can significantly contribute to reducing stigma around mental health.

About Marly Q:

Kindness Influencer, Leadership Trainer, and Community-Builder on a mission to create a kinder world for over two decades. Through her podcast, she invites listeners to make “Time to Be Kind” each week to receive a spark of kindness, connection and community.

Connect with Marly Q:

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/MarlyQ

Instagram: https://instagram.com/MarlyQ

Facebook: https://facebook.com/theMarlyQ

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@MarlyQ

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarlyQ

TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theMarlyQ


About Our Guest:

Dr. Adrian Mesa is a prominent mental health advocate, founder, and CEO of Amp Mental Health. With a background as an army veteran, he brings a unique perspective to the field. Dr. Mesa hosts the acclaimed “Finding Balance” podcast, focusing on achieving equilibrium in life. His contributions extend to international guest speaking engagements, where he shares his expertise and insights. Driven by a mission to elevate mental health awareness, he continues to make significant contributions in creating a more supportive and inclusive society.

Connect with Dr. Adrian Mesa

Website: ampmentalhealth.com

Instagram: @dr_adrian_mesa @amp_mental_health @finding_balance_podcast

TikTok: dr.adrianmesa


Other Links:

Join our Kind QREW Free Private Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/kindqrew

Join our Kind QREW+ Paid Membership: https://marlyq.com/kind-qrew

Programs & Courses: https://marlyq.com/programs

Marly Q Speaking, Training & Retreats: https://sparkcsr.com

Listen to Marly Q TEDx Talk “Kindness is your Superpower”: ​​https://bit.ly/MarlyQTEDxTalk

Other Episodes you’ll enjoy:

EP 26:   How Dare You (not) with Luly B

EP 33:   Express Lane to a Kinder World with Nedal Ahmad

EP 47:   4 R’s of Self-Kindness with Gilza Fort-Martinez



Marly Q 00:00:00

Hosting our Mankind Summit last month was just the spark of our efforts to elevate mental awareness now and bring an end to the stigma. Today’s episode is with a man who works to amplify mental health conversations every day. Let’s listen.


Marly Q 00:00:19

Yeah. Hello, and thank you for making Time to Be Kind with Marly Q and our special guest, PARKer today. He’s an old friend from high school who has made it his mission to elevate mental health here in South Florida. Dr. Adrian Mesa is the founder and CEO of Amp Mental Health. He is an army veteran, a professional photographer, and an international guest speaker, and the host of Finding Balance podcast, which I got to be a guest on. I will link it in the show notes for you. Welcome to the show, my friend, Adrian Mesa.


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:01:01

Thank you so much, Marly. I appreciate it.


Marly Q 00:01:03

Thank you for making time to be kind. I know how busy you are, always being of service to others. So thank you for making this time.


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:01:10

No, thanks for having me. An honor and a pleasure.


Marly Q 00:01:13

So I want to know, what is this secret sauce? What is the formula to finding balance? You name your podcast episode this. You believe in finding balance. Talk to me. How can we achieve this?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:01:24

I wish there was a secret sauce that I could just give to anybody and everybody, but there’s not. It’s very much so individualized, and it’s something you have to seek yourself. Everybody has different limits that they could push, and especially depending on the time of your life that you’re in. So I think a lot of finding balance is a matter of first understanding yourself, a lot of self assessment, a lot of self care self analysis, and then figuring out what is it that really makes you happy? Where do you find purpose? Where do you find that you just really light up? And then where do you find that you’re able to be of service to others and that’s fulfilling in itself? So I think it’s a combination of things. Again, if I had a pill that I could just sell to somebody and say, hey, this is how you find balance in your life, this is how you find your purpose, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’d be somewhere.


Marly Q 00:02:06

So I think that I joked about this and actually made a whole session at the Mankind Summit called Work Life. Balance is BS, right? I have a friend who wrote a book called Balance Is Bullshit. I wanted to hear your take on what balance even means.


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:02:21

I think Balance, again, it goes back to we all have our I guess where we have our livelihood, right? Where we make money, we draw revenue, which is great, but that can’t be everything. We can just constantly be pursuing money. I think it was Bob Marley who said money is numbers are infinite and the pursuit of that is futile. Right. If we’re just pursuing monetary gain, then we’re not going to get anywhere. So I think a lot of this has to do with, again, finding our purpose and figuring out what is it that we want to do. And so in order to find your balance you have to make sure that you’re not just pursuing that one thing and you’re also filling yourself.


Marly Q 00:02:56

So there’s different areas of our life, right, that we are in constant balance with. I joke that and with my friend at the event, LulyB , that having this as a measure of success is bullshit because we can’t really be in balance at work and at home and as a parent or as a leader in the community all at the same time. We can’t balance all of that at the same time. So to me, the only thing that we can balance and how we can find balance is actually our mental health, right? Which is why the acronym for mankind was Mental Awareness. Now I believe that the key to finding balance is really appear in our mind and doing what you alluded to when I asked you that question and kind of put you on the spot, the self reflection, the pausing, what’s actually going on up here, what actually matters to me, what lights me up. This is a process of having the awareness of what’s going on in our mind, right, and us being the one that gets to define what balance even means, what balance feels like in our life, right? And that pursuit is, I think, a healthier one. What do you think?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:04:05

I’m thinking of my daughter right now, right? And I’m thinking to myself, if I want to be this business owner and this entrepreneur and pursue for my practice to grow and to serve more people, that also requires some sacrifice on my part, where I have to turn to my daughter and say, hey, there’s going to be days where I’m going to be very devoted to this particular project. And it doesn’t mean that I’m a bad father. It just means that I have to communicate that to her and say, hey, I’m going to sacrifice some of my time with you and I hope you understand that. But again, it goes back to communication. If we’re pursuing something, something has to give. So that’s where there’s a tipping point. And I think what a lot of us do is we reach that tipping point but we don’t describe or communicate that sacrifice to the people who are around us. And that’s where we run into a lot of difficulties. I think as long as you have a strong support system that’s backing you and that also understands your mission, then everybody’s going to be on the same page. But if we’re neglecting that side of it, that’s where we’re going to run into some problems, where that sacrifice is going to lead to my detriment rather than my success.


Marly Q 00:05:08

Yeah. Communication is absolute key right. With others that we care about and communication with, like, self. How are we talking to ourselves? Right. Why do you think in the work that you do every day at Amp Mental Health, your practice for the last is it three years or so?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:05:23

Been three years.


Marly Q 00:05:24

Three years. Congratulations. I remember it was a birth of 2020. It was a positive baby from 2020. And you’ve served so many people. And I’m wondering, on a day to day basis, I’m wondering what are some of the patterns or the biggest objections that you hear people have to even seeking some mental health like support and building that community of support around them? What are some of those objections or challenges that we need to overcome?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:05:52

I think it’s just old school stigma. I think there’s still a lot of stigma that exists within day to day conversations. When you bring up a therapist or psychiatrist, especially in the Hispanic culture, where we view it as either a sign of weakness or, oh, Baha, we baylo Kero. And it’s like, well, the more I have to explain to people that, hey, you don’t have to be crazy. Actually, the people who I deal with day to day don’t have psychosis and don’t have severe mania. They’re actually people who are depressed, anxious, overworked, overwhelmed. They’re in stressed relationships. Maybe they have financial issues. And I’m sure anybody listening to this falls under one of those categories. We all have relationship issues. We all have questions of what is my purpose? And existential questions about our lives and what we’re supposed to be doing. These are a lot of people that are coming here, people who aren’t finding a sense of fulfillment in life. People just don’t understand why their mood is down, why they’re irritable. And so we do a lot more exploring. So I think it boils back down to stigma and then fighting against that stigma with education. I just keep warming people over and over and over again, saying, hey, it’s okay. Hey, you’re not alone. Hey, we’re all going through something. And I think that’s the message I continue to try to convey so that people understand that seeking mental health help isn’t a sign of weakness. Doesn’t mean they’re crazy. It actually just means they’re human.


Marly Q 00:07:11

Yes. And it means the same way that you would go to, I don’t know, an ankle doctor or you would go if you break your nose. Right. You would go to see a therapist. If you have a big life transition, if you have experienced some kind of trauma, big ‘T’ or little ‘t’, if you’re undergoing, like, big level of stress or overwhelm in your life right now and you don’t feel capable or equipped or supported enough by your family or the people around you to get you out of it, it’s only kind. And that’s what I want to ask you. How does kindness play into how we can break down this stigma? Or how does kindness play a role in how we can elevate and amplify mental health?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:07:50

Well, I think the way that we behave outwardly is often a reflection of what we’re feeling internally. So I think being kind is just a reflection of the struggles that somebody’s not dealing with. Right. So when we are not kind, typically somebody is extremely irritable, angry. They’re not really angry at the world around them. Right. The lady who’s getting into a fight with the Starbucks woman, what do you call the barista? The barista? Yes. I’m sorry, I don’t go to Starbucks often. The person who’s getting into a fight with the barista over not perfecting their drink to the matter that they wanted isn’t necessarily mad at the barista. They’re probably mad at so many different internal issues or even personal problems that they have in the background. And so we just have to be aware that when somebody’s not being kind, it’s not what’s wrong with them, it’s what happened to them. And often, look, we don’t have time to sit there and start analyzing everybody’s life who’s irritable and angry outwardly. Right. But if you can stop and you could ask yourself that to yourself and say, well, you know what? Something must have happened to this person, there’s some sort of trauma that’s lingering in the background, then it might make you respond a little bit differently.


Marly Q 00:08:51

Yeah. It helps you kind of to detach from that right. And not kind of identify that person’s behavior or reaction with who they are, but rather what they’re currently experiencing and maybe aren’t equipped or supported enough to kind of get over that reaction, that tendency that we have to kind of be short fused, to be irritable, to snap back at people, to be reactive rather than responsive. Right. So I do think that if there is a foundation of kindness towards self, we are much better equipped and able to extend some of that kindness to the barista or the person at the grocery store, or even the person that just cuts you off in traffic and in line. Right. So I think that kindness is fundamental to mental health and wellness, the way that we talk to ourselves. So a communication to others is the challenge for you. That’s a great opportunity to look like how are we communicating with ourselves? Because the way that we’re talking to ourselves translates a lot in how we are communicating with other people too. Right.


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:09:45

I agree 100%. I think self talk is something else that we have to definitely instill from childhood. And these are things that we don’t often talk about in elementary school or middle school or in high school. But I think the way that we communicate with ourselves, the way that we view ourselves. That internal dialogue that exists when we’re trying something challenging, it’s really important that you listen to that and say, well, what am I telling myself? Am I encouraging myself or am I constantly discouraging myself and saying, oh, you’re so stupid, you’re not getting this right. This should be so easy. No, you’re trying something new. It should be challenging. Right now you’re a rookie and it takes a long time for you to become a veteran who really understands whatever challenging tasks you’re trying to conquer. But I think the problem that a lot of us have is we see things like a 30 minutes, do it yourself, remodel your home in 1 hour and 30 minutes and not realizing this takes months. What you’re watching in 30 minutes takes months. And it’s stressful. That internal dialogue is extremely important.


Marly Q 00:10:41

It’s so important. I am with you on that, for sure. We can go off of that like on a three day conference, just talking about the importance of self talk and kindness. For sure. When we touched on the importance of education in being able to break down the barriers and the stigma surrounding mental health. Right. If that’s the biggest obstacle that we have for people not seeking the support that they need, is the stigma tied to having mental health conversations and seeking the support that you need education? That is what I like about amp. And the content that you put out is that you all are consistent and you have a podcast and you’re putting out basically the same information, inviting people in, making it more approachable for somebody that kind of has that resistance or that hesitation or culturally we’re brought up to kind of keep your problems to yourself. You’re not going to go and talk to a stranger that you don’t know about your problems. Right? How can we, as everyday people, PARKers here listening. And in case you’re new to the world, Adrian, I’m putting you on the spot. What’s a PARKer?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:11:37

He performed random acts of kindness.


Marly Q 00:11:39

Good job. Good job, PARKer. He’s a PARKer for a long time. So, yes, in case you’re new and this is your first time listening, a PARKer is you, me, and we all of us who perform acts of random kindness. And I believe that education is so important yes. To break down the stigma, what are some other ways that just we in our everyday life can contribute to ending this stigma?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:11:59

Besides education, if you are seeing a therapist, speaking openly about it, speaking openly about what that experience is like, not being afraid of the judgment of others. Because once you understand that your friend is seeing a therapist and they begin to describe to you what that therapy session is like, or maybe they begin to discuss with you why they needed a medication and what that medication did with them, then that alone is going to help them understand, like, oh, this is normal. This isn’t just for some person who is sitting on a street corner. This is my good friend who’s a successful individual, who is a parent, who has a lot of good things going for them. And it just so happens that they are finding the benefits from seeking therapy, from having the sounding board of somebody who’s just being objective, listening and then challenging their thoughts or their thought process. I think it’s really important for us to just openly discuss those things to people, also to people who we know we can trust with that information. Right. But if it’s a close friend of yours and you have the opportunity to describe to them what that therapy session is like and really break down that stigma that they might carry, that alone is going to carry a lot of weight, and they’re going to be able to realize, oh, wow, maybe let’s see what this therapy thing is about. This doesn’t mean you have to be going through a life crisis to seek therapy or to seek mental health help. I think we constantly have to be feeding our mental health to avoid or to try to prevent ourselves from requiring those crisis scenarios.


Marly Q 00:13:16

Yes, I need to stop and amplify that because that’s MAN, that’s Mental Awareness Now. If we have a practice, a daily habit of checking in, check in with yourself, man. What’s the mental awareness now? What’s going on? How am I feeling? How are we just checking in with yourself? I think that is such a small but important step. If we actually do it on a daily basis, that allows us to, I think, even increase our ability not just to be kind, but to be empathetic with the people that we work with, the people in our home, the people that we see out and about when they react a certain way, to not immediately blow them up. So in a situation like that where maybe it’s a coworker or a friend and you kind of want to be the spark of suggesting that they seek some mental health therapy, how can you even like, I even paused trying to get that out. So I’m like, how can you help someone who clearly not just who you assume needs help, but who clearly is displaying signs of needing support and someone to talk to? What might be the kindest way to offer that support?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:14:17

I think just asking them, hey, have you ever considered seeking some help or seeing a therapist? I think just asking the question in a way that’s compassionate and empathetic if you’re asking in the heat of the moment, hey, have you ever seen hey, you, sounds like you really need to sit there. But no, it’s coming from that place of compassion and care saying, it sounds like you’re going through a lot. Have you ever thought about speaking to somebody professional about it? Because it’s hard for me as your friend to be objective. Maybe I know your family members, maybe I know different parts of the relationships that you have with your whoever. So it’s really important for that question to be raised and for that person to explain to them, I am your friend and I am here for you, but I might not be the best person to give you guidance or help you really process what you’re telling me about.


Marly Q 00:15:01

I think that’s awesome, and I’m so glad that you shared that and that we’re amplifying how curiosity, how kindness, and how simply asking someone for the support that they need. Many times people might share either struggles or problems or situations with family members, with friends, at a networking event or something, venting it out on social media. Right. A lot. And I find that if we all, as PARKers, can actively look for opportunities to be the spark of inviting people to seek that kind of support, that could also be another way that we can help to end this stigma, right? Not so much just from a different perspective. What do you think?


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:15:41

No, I think absolutely the more we talk about it, the more we break the stigma. That’s why I’m constantly just I’ll be vulnerable myself and say there’s some struggles going on right now without over sharing. But I think just the more conversations we have about mental health, mental health help, being mentally aware, being able to self assess, I think that’s where we break the stigma and that’s where more people seek help.


Marly Q 00:16:03

Yes. So tell us about I know that you started a nonprofit. Can you tell us a little bit about the Wooden Bell Foundation? I’m super curious to know.


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:16:13

Yeah, we started it was just like two months ago. It’s something that’s been in my heart for some time now, is to be able to have people that may not be able to afford mental health care and for us to offer some sort of a scholarship for those people to be able to access it when funds aren’t available to them. And so that’s the goal. It’s called the Wooden Bell Foundation. I don’t have the bell here right now, but I once went to I think it was in Dominican Republic. Don’t ask me why. It’s ran in English on the bell. But it says nobody hears the cry of the poor or the sound of a wooden bell because the wooden bell, the sound, it’s just a thud. It doesn’t carry. It’s not really amplified. And that stuck with me. I said no. I named the Wooden Bell Foundation because nobody hears the cry of the poor or the sound of a wooden bell, but we do. And so we’re going to make sure that those people who really need the care can have access. And that’s what we’re trying to do. That’s basically where we’re at.


Marly Q 00:17:08

I think that’s beautiful. And I’m also going to call you a crazy man for starting a business and a nonprofit at the same time because I also have done such crazy things. But here we are, just two kids from Hayalia, trying to make a difference in the world and elevate mankind together. I’m so grateful for you making the time in your busy schedule to spend time with us and amplify mental health every single day. Thank you, Adrian.


Dr. Adrian Mesa 00:17:30

Thank you so much, Marly Q I appreciate it.



You enjoyed this episode of Time to Be Kind with Marly Q, then tell us about it MAN! If you’re listening on Apple podcast, go ahead and rate and leave us a quick review. It really helps to amplify our mission to spread kindness worldwide, and we’re so grateful. And you might just get a shout-out in a future episode. Remember to join our Kind QREW. If you’re not inside of our private Facebook group page, you’re missing out. You can find the link to join right in our episode Show Notes, which you can find at MarlyQ.com forward slash this episode number. So whatever episode number this is, head on over to MarlyQ.com forward slash this episode number to find the link to join our Kind QREW and this episode’s. Full transcription and show notes. Thank you for making time to be kind with Marly Q. I’ll see you next time.

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4 R’s of Self-Kindness with Gilza Fort-Martinez

 4 R’s of Self-Kindness with Gilza Fort-Martinez

Does kindness play a role in healing? Find out just how much when you make Time to be Kind with Marly Q and renowned psychotherapist, Gilza Fort-Martinez. This brief but powerful conversation explores the essential role kindness plays in healing and emotional wellness and uncovers Gilza’s “4 R’s” technique for emotional restoration. Tune in for your roadmap to self-kindness and overall wellness, starting now!

Join our Kind QREW community – Click here
Join our Kind QREW+ Paid Membership – Click here



“Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” ~ The Golden Rule


Listen to this Episode and Discover…

  • How kindness underpins healing and overall wellness, creating a safe space for awareness, consideration and transformation to occur.
  • The 4 R’s of Self-Kindness and Emotional Restoration
    • Rest: Recognize the importance of rest. We often judge ourselves harshly for needing rest, but it is an essential part of self-kindness.
    • Reflect: Reflection is key to understanding oneself better. Asking ourselves hard questions can be a kind act leading to self-awareness and informed decision making.
    • Reset: After allowing for rest and reflection, resetting can take place. This process is about making more conscious decisions and allowing for changes in our lives.
    • Reengage: Once reset, we are ready to reengage with the world more intentionally, with a better understanding of ourselves.

About Marly Q:

Kindness Influencer, Leadership Trainer, and Community-Builder on a mission to create a kinder world for over two decades. Through her podcast, she invites listeners to make “Time to Be Kind” each week to receive a spark of kindness, connection and community.

Connect with Marly Q:

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/MarlyQ

Instagram: https://instagram.com/MarlyQ

Facebook: https://facebook.com/theMarlyQ

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@MarlyQ

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarlyQ

TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theMarlyQ


About Our Guest:

Gilza Fort-Martínez, LMFT, is a Tough Love Healer specializing in individual therapy, couples counseling, and women’s transitions. With over 25 years of experience, she helps individuals rediscover resolution paths, transforming their lives. Her approach, My Navigational Mapping™, combines honest feedback and a solution-driven method, increasing self-awareness and emotional wellness. Gilza is the founder and CEO of Resolution Counseling Center in Miami. With expertise in conflict resolution, interpersonal relationships, and life transitions, she guides clients in embracing flaws and transforming them into strengths. Her passion for helping individuals improve their lives drives her dedication to counseling and therapeutic support.

Connect with Gilza Fort-Martínez

Website: gilzafort.com

LinkedIn: Gilza Fort-Martínez

Instagram: @toughlovehealer

Facebook: ToughLovehealer

Twitter: @toughlovehealer


Other Links:

Join our Kind QREW Free Private Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/kindqrew

Join our Kind QREW+ Paid Membership: https://marlyq.com/kind-qrew

Programs & Courses: https://marlyq.com/programs

Marly Q Speaking, Training & Retreats: https://sparkcsr.com

Listen to Marly Q TEDx Talk “Kindness is your Superpower”: ​​https://bit.ly/MarlyQTEDxTalk

Other Episodes you’ll enjoy:

EP 43:   Be Kindr to You with Dr. Eva Ritvo

EP 42:   Time to Elevate MANkind with Rene Garcia

EP 37:   Global Village of Kindness with Dr. Eglee Nunez-Sancristobal



Marly Q 00:00:00

Personal healing is intricately tied to emotional wellness. But have you ever thought about the role that kindness plays in your healing process and daily well being? Stay tuned for this illuminating conversation.

Marly Q 00:00:25

Hello, PARKers. And thank you for making Time to Be Kind with Marly Q. We are joined here today by a super special PARKer from Miami, Florida. Gilza-Fort Martinez is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She’s also a speaker and a writer with over 25 years of experience specializing in family therapy and life transitions. She’s helped hundreds of individuals, couples and families rediscover and create a path for resolution that have turned their life around. She has been featured on numerous TV publications, print publications, and dozens of podcasts, including now, Time to Be Kind with Marly Q. Please help me. Welcome to the show, Gilza.

Gilza Fort 00:01:03

Hi there. Hi, Marly. Nice to see you again.

Marly Q 00:01:06

Yes. Thank you so much for making Time to Be Kind. I know that it’s not always easy to. And I appreciate you offering and clearing some space on your super busy calendar to talk to us today.

Gilza Fort 00:01:17

I appreciate that. I definitely resonate with what you say and what you do and what your focus is. I mean, at the end of the day, that’s the bottom line, right? The golden rule being do unto others. And kindness is that foundation.

Marly Q 00:01:34

Thank you. I so agree with that. And I hear that a lot, right? Do unto others. And I think sometimes we forget the rest of that, right?. It’s do unto others as you do to yourself. Isn’t that the rest of it?

Gilza Fort 00:01:45

As you want others to do unto you.

Marly Q 00:01:48

There you go. I know I messed up the words, but I know there’s a part there about you, right? And that’s why it’s so important to start with you. And on this journey of self healing and emotional wellness, really starting with kindness towards yourself allows us to kind of impart some of that kindness onto others, right?

Gilza Fort 00:02:05

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Marly Q 00:02:07

So I know your handle on Instagram is tough love healer. Can you tell me why? Tell me a little bit about this tough love and healing.

Gilza Fort 00:02:14

I mean, the handle came through even conversations with different clients over the years when I would ask them, so how is it that I have influenced you or helped you or impacted you? And most of the time, I got some version of, well, you just are frank. You don’t sugarcoat. And what I wanted was to be able to have the information, and sometimes I didn’t like it, but you still made it palatable for me. So the whole tough love is compassionate. I can be compassionate like I tell my clients. I can be listening. I can be very caring. And then there’s going to be a certain point in time where I’m going to have to be the one that gives you that little push, that little shove that maybe other people are either doing too aggressively and so we resist it or are afraid to do. So the whole tough love healer is kind of a compassionate approach that I try to encourage people to really take a look at what are their options in life as the transitions are flung at us.

Marly Q 00:03:14

Absolutely. I’ve just currently, I feel like I’m still in this transition. I consider myself a new mom even though my kid’s about to be five in July. I feel like I’m still transitioning into this mompreneur world. I have a two year old and almost five year old, and in that transition, I’ve really had to impart quite a bit of love and kindness towards myself through the process. And when I think of tough love, I immediately think of my kids. Because I’m raising my kids with kind of the same tough love that I was raised with, right? My mom is the most selfless, kind, amazing woman, and she’s also super tough, let me tell you. Super tough Cuban mama who don’t play no games, and she’s got super strict boundaries, right? And I feel I am aware of, and I witness myself kind of modeling that tough love way where I’m super kind, but I’m very firm, quote, unquote, tough on boundaries and rules with my kids. And I think that that could sometimes be criticized, right? Like tough love on your kids. But I really think that tough love, quote, unquote, when thought of from a place of kindness and compassion like you’re talking about, could really make a big difference in helping to help someone feel safe. Like they know what I stand for and what I don’t, right? Help someone feel that you care. Because if I’m this tough on certain things, it’s because I care. It’s important, right? So what’s your feedback on that? Am I doing a good job as a parent? I guess, as I’m indirectly asking you.

Gilza Fort 00:04:40

I think you absolutely are, because I think that this idea of really creating safety doesn’t mean we have to helicopter or cocoon our kids. Safety has to do with, in my mind, and I think we were raised by very similar mothers. Safety, in my mind, has to do with creating, like, security. I always knew that I could go back to my parents. I was very blessed in that way, and I always knew that my parents had my back. They didn’t always agree with me. And I got into plenty of disagreements, particularly with my old school, traditional father. But I always knew that they had my back. So, like you said, having loving, caring boundaries that are done lovingly and firmly. Lovingly and firmly. So we don’t need to do them aggressive. I don’t encourage you to do them in anger. They just are. This is what it is.

Marly Q 00:05:35

This is what it is.

Gilza Fort 00:05:36

This is what it is. My daughters are 28 and 22 at this point, Marly. And they will tell you that if they didn’t want to bring out psychomom, all they needed to do was to tell me the truth, have a conversation with me and then be willing to take your lumps if we didn’t agree, because they knew I would do the same. I had no problems with saying, you know what? My bad. And sometimes, you know what, guys? This is the way it is. Because I’m the mom and because your dad is the dad. Really, I’m loving to hear from you that you are really comfortable with stepping into. I can be kind and firm and there are some things that are going to be because that’s the way dad and I want them to be.

Marly Q 00:06:23

Cause mama said so. That does fly around here.

Gilza Fort 00:06:28

Well, like I said, my daughters are grown, and if you talk to them, they’ll tell you it still flies at my house.

Marly Q 00:06:35

There you go. You’re doing a great job, too. Here’s a little reminder for the two of us. We’ve done good. Because when kindness is the foundation, I think of how you parent or how you serve right in the work that you do that’s going to nourish a good environment for that to bloom, for there to be healing, for there to be growth. So I love that. So now that we know the important role that kindness plays in parenting, let’s switch over to the role that kindness plays in healing and overall emotional wellness. From your perspective, how important is kindness in the work that you do to help people heal and find their wellness?

Gilza Fort 00:07:08

I think it’s very important, Marly, in what I do as psychotherapy, the essence, the tried and true of psychotherapy is about creating safety and it’s about instilling hope, and it’s about kind of holding space for someone until they are able and willing to step into that space or time themselves. So underneath all that, there has to be the kindness that allows you to make that connective relationship. The essence of good psychotherapy. And what I mean by good, meaning that it could be effective, that it can be transformational for people, is that you have that therapeutic rapport. And rapport, to me, whether it’s in the therapy office or in the coffee shop is about kindness. Can you share what you’re thinking, tough love wise, and still make it easy on the mind, on the body, on the soul, for the person to be able to consider and to take in? So for me, kindness, hope is all about how I help people really kind of rebuild and restore themselves from whatever their crises.

Marly Q 00:08:19

And how do you encourage your clients to be kind to themselves in their healing process? Do you have any specific technique or question or part about your process that you encourage your clients to be kind to themselves? Curious.

Gilza Fort 00:08:33

I mean, I work a lot. At this point, after 25 years of being, of doing a lot of what might be called generalist, I did a lot of work with different populations and things. At this point, I work most often with women and with women that are really in the throes of definitely some kind of life transition. But I work a lot with women overcoming some kind of betrayal in their life. Betrayal is a broken trust, right? The essence of I thought this was what it is, and now I realize it’s not. And so that devastation of loss. And so my primary focus and work with clients, but definitely with women, is the idea of taking care of yourself, of the Self, right? The one that has the capital S to it. I encourage people to do what I call the four R’s, okay? And the first two pieces to me are primary. And like any other kind of grieving thing, you kind of go to something and then you come back to it. But the first one is I encourage people to just Rest. We don’t allow ourselves, as you were saying, we aren’t kind enough with ourselves when we’re resting. We think, oh my gosh, I’m not being productive, I’m not taking something off my list. I’m not multitasking the way the world says. And so we’re very unkind, very harsh to ourselves with that whole idea of resting. And I talk to people about whatever that looks like for them. Sometimes resting could be right. You’re vegging in your pajamas and binging on a movie or a show, and sometimes resting could be a little bit more mindful, right? You are intentionally either doing some kind of meditation or a lot of people do exercise and fitness as a way. So there could be an active form of resting, and then there is a more quiet and passive form of resting. So to me, that’s cornerstone, because we are just incredibly unkind to ourselves in this society with regards to, you know, what, today is just resting.

Marly Q 00:10:34

I would like to tell all our PARKers listening, I have been guilty of this most of my entire life. I still struggle with it a little bit, but I am grateful to my healing journey and my epiphany that divine rest, like, absolutely sacred. So nothing like having two kids that didn’t let you sleep for several years? I don’t think I’ve slept really. I will have you value rest. I would really have you value rest. All right, so I got the first R, what’s next?

Gilza Fort 00:11:01

So the second R is to Reflect, Reflection. And this is a part of kindness that I encourage people to do because again, we are in this hustle culture that we’re in, we are in on, and we’re expected to be on twenty four seven at a hundred and fifty miles an hour all the time. And so the concept of sitting quietly, just kind of seeing what’s going, what’s floating through our heads, taking a moment to ask ourselves kind of what I call the hard questions. Sometimes my clients will say to me, well, that’s not very kind when you want me to ask some of these questions. At the same time there’s a kindness that goes in with can I look at myself? Am I willing to look at myself in all of my glorious flaws? And will I take the time to really kind of be my own comfy, cozy blanket, so to speak, in ways. So the reflection process to me, I encourage people to do it old school. I’m very much paper and pencil. I want you to just ask yourself the basic questions: who am I? What’s important to me, what’s different for me now than when I was 20? Just any question is important. Any question is relevant to getting to know yourself in a different way. So this is different angle of kindness. It’s one that sometimes I have to sell a little more to people in the sense of it is a kindness to yourself. The more that you understand yourself, the more that you have awareness, then the more mindfully or intentionally you can step into what are the choices that you want to make? Doesn’t mean we’re not going to make mistakes. It just means that you might be more clearly able to tell where are the potholes in the road, so to speak.

Marly Q 00:12:47

Absolutely. I believe, I think that’s such an important part of the work that you do and you quote, force your clients to do it, whether they think it’s tough love or not. Reflection, I always say without reflection you see no growth. Without reflection you see no growth. You’re just constantly doing and the doing and the doing. And you’re carrying with you maybe old identities, baggage, things that you haven’t that aren’t even you anymore. Without that kindness. Like clarity is kindness. And sometimes clarity doesn’t look good. It doesn’t look good. But there’s kindness in being really clear about who you are, why you believe you’re on this earth, where you’ve been, where you think you’re going, where that gap is like how we’re treating ourselves in our journey. I think reflection is paramount. So, so far I am with you on board for these two R’s. Tell me more.

Gilza Fort 00:13:33

Well, another piece of that reflection, as you were saying there, is really entering into the part of forgiveness. And to me, forgiveness is also cornerstone in being kind to ourselves. Because you mentioned I might be looking at myself in ways that I’m not even that person anymore. And so that’s all about right judgment and self judgment that we do, and I’m talking about, again, Western society, US. Societies, is the we that I tend to talk about, but definitely us as Hispanic women kind of trying to bridge the old school, traditional way of thinking and now trying to transition into more of the American values and so forth. I mean, like you, I grew up with very traditional Hispanic parents and it was very tough at times to stay true to what they considered to be important values, cultural and historical, and to also be present and be able to live a life here. So the willingness to look at ourselves and know that we’ve shifted and we’ve changed. And some of it we’ve done willingly, some of it right life shoves us into those changes. Then the ability to really forgive ourselves for how we do that process. As you were saying, the idea of being a mom and a mompreneur, that is, I started practicing when my oldest daughter was two, and that was really hard. I wanted to grow this business. And my mom and my mother in law, they both worked, but they didn’t have careers. They worked and they didn’t have businesses. They worked for somebody. So there was a lot of clashing there and a lot of self forgiveness that I had to do for not being with my daughter. Twenty four, seven, and yet I’m a much better mother because I worked, because I had my sense of self. So forgiveness to me is a big piece of that reflection part.

Marly Q 00:15:51

I totally agree with that. So thank you for bringing that into the conversation. For sure. So we got two R’s under our belt so far. You said there were four, right?

Gilza Fort 00:16:04

Yes. The third one is reset. And how that works with kindness for me is when we do this resting and we’re allowing and we let resting become a little bit more intentional and habitual, right, more consistent. And we continue to ask ourselves some of the questions so that now we start to make maybe decisions a little bit more consciously, maybe we decide that we have to make some shifts and we let go of things that maybe are hard to let go of. All of this is the process of resetting. And when you’re ready and usually we know when we’re ready, we just don’t always allow ourselves, but we usually know when we’re ready to take that first step into let’s try this different idea, or let’s meet this different person or connect with this particular business idea, whatever it is. The resetting has to or the resetting comes in when you’re feeling that you have more of that foundation all in. This is about kindness for yourself. Okay? Like we said, if we’re going to judge ourselves, criticize ourselves, move ourselves into the space where we become immobilized either with anxiety or fear, you aren’t able then to do the reset. And so the reset to me is like when the computer we kind of restart the computer and we have our basics, right? All the basic stuff in the computer is there, but there’s some new and improved pieces or maybe there’s a little program here and there that we hadn’t noticed and that now we put more energy or emphasis on. And so the resetting takes you or allows you to go into what I call the fourth step, which is the reengaging. This is when you more intentionally decide to reengage with the world, whatever world that is. In the case with a lot of my women clients, it might be about actually stepping into their reengaging in their marriages or stepping into the idea of divorcing. But it could be any layer changing jobs, allowing our children to go into kindergarten, and we leave them at the front door. We don’t take them, whatever that is, right? That it allows us then to reengage with our various worlds and the various hats. But we do it now from a place of a little bit broader understanding of ourselves.

Marly Q 00:18:24

Oh my goodness. So I feel like you just outlined in four R’s, which I love, wordplay, Alliteration, and acronyms. As you know, I know we don’t know each other that long, but you know me for five minutes. You know I like acronyms. And you’re a PARKer, by the way, I don’t know if you’ve learned this one. And folks listening, do you know what a PARKer stands for?

Gilza Fort 00:18:42

Gilza I did. Oh dear. Random Kindness. Acts of random kindness.

Marly Q 00:18:47

I forgot the P. Perform of Random Kindness. So when you’re a PARKer, you’re a person that performs Acts of Random Kindness, right. So you do this absolutely every single day. Now you know the acronym for it. All of you listening, you’re all PARKers too. So just in case you’re new to my world and didn’t know that acronym, PARKer. And what I was saying with this is that was really like my journey with I had to really learn my last burnout experience, october of 2016. And I made a decision. If I do not change, if I do not change this, I’m going to die. It got that serious from like I will not continue not just my work and my passion and my philanthropic work, but I don’t think I will continue existing if I don’t change how I am treating myself. And it really was this total outward do unto others without doing any of the kindness unto self. So that was 2016, several years ago already. And it’s taken some time it’s taken some time for my body and my brain nervous system to rewire itself, to appreciating and valuing and prioritizing rest, which was absolutely the complete opposite of my life. Prior to this awakening and necessity for reflection, I really had not done any real reflection work to pause and really look at how far I’ve come from my immigrant parents coming to the United States, from me actually starting. A business in 2010, not knowing anything about it, not having a role model, not having the right environment, so to speak, to nurture this in me, et cetera. And here we don’t fast forward and actually reflect and ask ourselves these questions. We’re not able to be proud of ourselves and be like, hey, you’ve been through some dark times, you’ve been through some difficult things, and the forgiveness that has to happen is such a part of it. And then resetting, like, once you’re ready and hey, it might take you, I don’t know, a couple of sessions with Gilsa. It took me a couple of years, people. I did not seek Gilsa’s help. I just thought I kind of went through this on my own and with my family to a small extent, et cetera. And it took some while to kind of reset and be like, all right, I am no longer this stressed out, burnt out, worried, anxious event planner that I’ve been all my life. I feel I’m being called into becoming a parent. That’s when we started even trying, going down that journey. I feel I’m being called to speak and connect with people in a different way. I’m being called to create courses. But it was a lot of resetting that needed to happen mentally and identity wise to step into. I am a kindness influencer. I am a leadership trainer. I’m a community builder. That’s who I am, what I do. You can pay me to speak at your event. You can pay me to do workshops and retreats, right? But that all really had to come from kindness and come back to Corey to the core, and then be able to re-engage, enter Time to Be Kind with Marly Q podcast and my effort to re-engage with my community that I felt and I didn’t forget about. But I tossed it off to the side because it caused me so much stress, worry, anxiety, burnout. And now really able to come back and say, listen, there’s a way that we can be the spark and we can be of service to others and be that change that we wish to see in our own lives and for the world. But it really has to start. It has to start with you. Because if not, it’s just not sustainable.

Gilza Fort 00:21:54

Sustainable. That’s the great word. Because we could do it. You did it there for a number of years. So did I, so did our parents. And as children of immigrants, as you said, this is what we’re taught to do we just go? Go. The question really is, is it sustainable? And is it sustainable in a way that you have some satisfaction, some quality of life? The two main reasons that people go into therapy in this country anyway is that they complain of anxiety or depression. Okay. And those things are about, like you said, the core, the soul that isn’t really being nurtured or honored.

Marly Q 00:22:33

Correct. And I just want to use this microphone and this time and this platform for anyone listening that might be kind of in a season of life where you feel like that angst of like, all right, I need to transition or I need to make a change, I need to pivot into something. And you feel that resting and reflecting and kind of going through this process might be helpful for you. How can our PARKers listening connect with you? I know you were so generous to offer a 15 minutes consult for people that reached out to you and review the show. So if you’re out there listening and you review our podcast, rather leave a review on itunes or follow us on Spotify or leave a comment on our blog if you engage with us and this episode, Gilsa is so generous and she’s going to offer you a 15 minutes consult.

Gilza Fort 00:23:18

Yes, I’d love to be able to do that. You could also find me, as you mentioned, on Instagram, I’m at TOUGH LOVE Healer, can find me on Facebook as well as my website. Helsaport.com can give you a little bit more information through my blog and things like that, get a little bit better, feel as to who I am and how I work. But definitely the 15 minutes is usually enough for people to get a feel for, is allowing yourself to go and have conversations with somebody that you don’t know, take out the dirty laundry, as we would say in Cuban Spanish, right? With somebody else and really allow yourself to start that kindness process with yourself. I encourage it. Doesn’t have to be with me, but I encourage it.

Marly Q 00:24:03

I encourage it, too. Thank you so much for your generosity, for your kindness, for spending this time with me and our PARKers listening. I hope that we get to see each other real soon.

Gilza Fort 00:24:12

Yes, thank you. Thanks very much for having me.


So if you enjoyed this episode of Time to Be Kind with Marly Q, and I know you did, tell us about it, you can leave a comment over on my website, Marlyq.com this episode number. You could also leave a rating and a review over on podcast. Follow us on Spotify. You know what to do. And you could also choose to be the spark of a conversation over on our private Facebook group. If you’re not part of my Kind QREW yet, I don’t know what you’re waiting for. I invite you every week. Go over to Marlyq.com this episode number and click the link to request access to our private Facebook group. That’s where we connect each and every week, and I want you in there. You’ll also find the full transcription and show notes, plus the links to connect with Hilsa over at Marlyq.com this episode number. Thanks again for making this Time to Be Kind with me. See you next time.

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MANkind Summit 2.0 Recap

MANkind Summit 2.0 Recap

MANkind Summit was a historic three-day virtual event focused on elevating mental health and wellness with the power of kindness, connection, and community. In this short solo-episode, Kindness Influencer and podcast host, Marly Q, highlights the importance of mental health and wellness with a quick recap of the Summit. If you want to feel inspired and refreshed with new perspectives and practical tools to calm your mind, find clarity, and take action towards your goals then listen to this episode and consider joining our Kind QREW+ online community for on-going support. Marly Q believes that Quality Relationships Elevate Wellness (QREW) and having a kind support system helping you prioritize self-care and well-being is the secret to living a more happy, successful and fulfilled life. Tune in and listen for a special invitation at the end!

Join our Kind QREW community – Click here
Join our Kind QREW+ Paid Membership – Click here



“I believe Quality Relationships Elevate Wellness and everyone deserves to have a QREW.” ~ Marly Q


Listen to this Episode and Discover…

  • Gain valuable insights and reflections on the second annual MANkind Summit, a unique virtual event that focused on elevating mental health and wellness with the power of kindness, connection and community.
  • Be inspired by Marly Q’s personal story of resilience and her commitment to spreading kindness and building a strong, supportive community. 
  • Gain motivation to make time for self-care and discover how simple it can be to prioritize your own mental health and wellness.
  • Learn practical strategies and tools to cultivate calmness, find clarity, and make progress towards your goals, empowering you to create a more fulfilling life.
  • Receive a personal invitation to join our Kind QREW+ community, where you’ll receive ongoing support, access to exclusive resources, and the opportunity to participate in future events and workshops.

About Marly Q:

Kindness Influencer, Leadership Trainer, and Community-Builder on a mission to create a kinder world for over two decades. Through her podcast, she invites listeners to make “Time to Be Kind” each week to receive a spark of kindness, connection and community.

Connect with Marly Q:

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/MarlyQ

Instagram: https://instagram.com/MarlyQ

Facebook: https://facebook.com/theMarlyQ

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@MarlyQ

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarlyQ

TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theMarlyQ


Other Links:

Join our Kind QREW Free Private Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/kindqrew

Join our Kind QREW+ Paid Membership: https://marlyq.com/kind-qrew

Programs & Courses: https://marlyq.com/programs

Marly Q Speaking, Training & Retreats: https://sparkcsr.com

Listen to Marly Q TEDx Talk “Kindness is your Superpower”: ​​https://bit.ly/MarlyQTEDxTalk

Other Episodes you’ll enjoy:

EP 34:   Don’t Quit on You with Marly Q

EP 32:   Let’s Start with Why (and How) with Marly Q

EP 30:   Season 2, Kind Welcome with Marly Q

EP 0:   Season 1, Welcome PARKer with Marly Q



00:00 Marly Q

Can one event change your life? Yes, yes it can. And I know this because I’ve been creating and being a part of life changing events for well over two decades. And I just hosted our second annual MANkind Summit, a historic three day virtual event to elevate mental health and wellness. In this episode, I quickly recap what this one of a kind event experience was like. And for all of those who did not attend the MANkind Summit this year, Stay tuned to the end.

00:40 Marly Q

Hello and thank you for making Time to Be Kind with Marly Q. It’s just you and I here today. How cool is that? It’s been a while since I do a solo episode, but today I was inspired because we just hosted our second annual MANkind Summit. And I have so much to still digest and reflect on that experience. But I wanted to kind of go off of momentum and record this quick recap. For those of you that attended, you know the transformation, the inspiration, the elevation that we all experienced together throughout the course of the three days. Whether you were with us all three days of the summit, or you only attended one day, or maybe just one session, or maybe you just were able to pop in and out in the middle of your busy day, I hope and I trust that you were able to receive from the event experience what was there for you to receive. Hopefully a spark of kindness, connection, and community.

01:32 Marly Q

That was my intention. That’s who I believe I am. And my purpose here on this earth is to simply be the spark of kindness, of real meaningful connection and to build community. That’s what Time to Be Kind with Marly Q podcast is all about. And the event, the MANkind Summit, was really the embodiment of making Time to Be Kind to yourself. And I really want to recognize and honor and appreciate the people that registered for this event and that attended I recognize that it was a difficult ask and that it was a challenge to show up for three days, to make time, to be kind to yourself, to elevate your mental health and wellness, to share that maybe with family, with friends, or with your team of coworkers.

02:16 Marly Q

I know I challenged you and I really want to again acknowledge and recognize those of you that took me up on that challenge, especially wanting to thank our sponsors, our presenting sponsor Spark CSR, which is my company of professional development training, leadership workshops and retreats. This was basically my showcase of what it is that I can do on a virtual scale and also in person as a speaker, as a facilitator, as a leadership trainer, right?

02:41 Marly Q

So my company was a presenting sponsor, Spark CSR. You can check it out at sparkcsr.com. And we had Miami-Dade County District 13 as a presenting sponsor as well. We applied for a grant and for the second year in a row, we were supported so that we can produce this event for practically free for the community. Thank you to Senator Rene Garcia, who we had on our podcast just a few episodes ago. And we’ll make sure to link it on this show notes so that you can hear from him. Why he decided to say “Yes, MAN” to this event and support us for two years in a row. One of our first sponsors to sign up was Voices for Children, which we just recently interviewed Kadie Black, the CEO of Voices for Children. We want to thank Fortune Lenders, Rise Up Bookkeeping, Lulee B. Inc., The Well Biz as well, Synergate Coaching. Little Chef Big Food and STARS Global Preparatory School, which is a school here in South Florida, which I have been serving as a chairwoman of the board for the past two years. And the reason that I’m a part of that board and the school and also interviewed Dr. Egle Nunez San Cristobal on Time to Be Kind with Marly Q a few episodes ago is because they infuse their curriculum and their everyday school with kindness. There is actually a kindness curriculum, there is service learning that happens in the classroom. And for me, that’s really key is that we are teaching kindness and influencing kindness in our youth, not just our youth, in us, in ourselves as well. 

04:10 Marly Q

And the MANkind summit was all about directing some of that self-love and kindness that we constantly give in service of others. Hey, I’m talking to you, PARKer, to you, the people that Perform Acts of Random Kindness, right? The people that are constantly helping this event was to help the helpers. And we spent three days working through an experience. Day one was get calm. It was all about how do we calm our mind? How do we befriend stress, right? One of the mindset shifts that we started the event with, the first 15 minutes of the event, we had done a guided meditation and we shift our relationship and our mindset with stress, where we realized that stress is not the enemy, right? Lack of awareness to stress is the enemy. And when we began to practice Mental Awareness Now, or MAN, is the acronym for Mental Awareness Now. When we begin to practice that as a mindfulness skill, it allows us to experience more calm in our life, despite the chaos, confusion, or otherwise happening on the outside, right? 

05:07 Marly Q

So day one was all about tapping into that calm. How do we do that with practical tools, with practical skills, right? And I gave everybody on day one, the one daily habit that has the power to change your life that has a power to change the way you feel when you wake up and go to bed. I call it my BEST way to stress less. BEST is the acronym for that self-care strategy that I got to teach, I got to share. I’ve been sharing it since 2020 to well, I mean, thousands of people by now and dozens of workshops in person and virtual. And I can tell you with certainty, not just by teaching it to others and being able to witness and hear transformation from people that actually apply this BEST way to stress less strategy. But for me personally in my life, doing my BEST and being committed to always do my BEST has really gotten me through some difficult and challenging times, especially some mental ruts that I found myself in when I was quarantined and pregnant with a toddler in my house and trying to transition into becoming a mom of two and figuring out how to rebuild my business after losing it from COVID, et cetera. I was in a bit of a rut and the only thing that I had available to me was my Mental Awareness Now and practicing my mindfulness skills to keep me from a rut and allow me to pivot really fast into creating Time to Be Kind with Marly Q Podcast, creating online courses, creating our community, our kind crew, and creating awesome virtual events like the MANkind Summit. That was day one, was get calm. And I shared a bit of that story as to how getting calm helped me shift over into getting clear. 

06:42 Marly Q

So day two was all about get clear. Once we are able to get some calm and achieve some calm in our mind, then we can get really clear as to what’s really important to us. Right? Have you ever been guilty of feeling like a hot mess or you just feel like a mess? Right? You were scattered and distracted in a lot of different directions. Day two at the MANkind summit was for you, to help you. Kind of reset your mind. We started with an amazing session, a mindset research session. I wanna thank Sheena Eizmendiz from The Wellbiz for leading that session for us and teaching us some real practical mindfulness skills that we can use to reset our mind, achieve more calm and more clarity so that we can get moving and feeling better. So that was, I didn’t mention our featured speakers for day one, I wanna thank. Dr. Eva Ritvo, founder of Bekindr Global Initiative and a psychiatrist in Miami Beach Florida for well over 30 years. She’s been a multi-guest of Time to Be Kind with Marly Q, including episode one and three and 30 something a couple of weeks ago. And we just love Dr. Eva Ritvo and she helped to amplify the story of a woman that we both feel really embodies growing as a result of trauma and someone that her mental health has helped her really build a beautiful life where she enjoys quality relationships and experiences, despite her physical disabilities. So Kerry Gruson, the co-founder of Thumbs Up International, was a part, not just as a featured speaker at our event where we helped to amplify her voice, but she attended all three days. And really, just by her presence and her wisdom and the words that she was able to express really changed lives at the MANkind Summit, changed our perception of what’s possible and what we can actually see in one another way past our physical limitations. 

08:28 Marly Q

We also got to focus on our goals and on day three, get moving in that direction. So again, day one was get calm. Day two was get clear. And day three was get moving. And I taught you my smartest planning framework to achieving any goal. We were able to leave with an actual roadmap and some action steps as to how you’re going to get moving and make progress on the goal that you decided was most important to you. It was so amazing to actually have that be a real valuable use of time for people. How many events have you been to where you get a lot of information, information overload, but then you leave and you’re like kind of overwhelmed or unsure as to what am I going to do with all this information that I just received? I know I’m not the only one. I and the MANkind summit experience was not like that at all. There was zero overwhelm on the information. And if anything there was overwhelm on the joy of being able to experience and receive each other’s kindness. It was a beautiful display of kindness, connection and community. And again, I just want to say thank you to our speakers and our sponsors for making this event possible. And more than that, to the attendees, to every single person that attended this event that engaged, that was active with our dashboard and won MAN points. Yes, my friends, we actually had a competition called the MAN points challenge and we gave points for attending the event, for engaging, for speaking up, for submitting forms on the dashboard, for visiting our speakers and our sponsors. And it was just so fun to reward people to interact and to engage.

09:58 Marly Q

If that doesn’t show you that this was a completely amazing and unique one-of-a-kind experience, I don’t know what will, right? This was not a Zoom meeting. This was not slideshows and presentations or speakers just speaking at you. This was really a co-creation of community and really in my opinion, showcasing the change that we all wish to see in this world. We created, we co-created an environment and a space in an event where people came and felt safe to be themselves, to express their voice.

10:27 Marly Q

We even had Adrianna Foster on day two and day three sing Acapella using her voice loudly to inspire all of us with a smile and with a message that it’s all about you. You are responsible for elevating your mental health and wellness on a daily basis. And this event was my effort from my heart to open my heart and my arms to the community to invite you to elevate your mental health and wellness together. 

10:52 Marly Q

We all need this MAN. We all need this MAN. None of us is, you know, has reached the summit of mental health and wellness enlightenment. Mental health and wellness is a daily practice. And in a world where we are so busy and pulled in so many different directions and there’s so much fear and uncertainty and unknowns, us being able to strengthen our mental fortitude. For us to be able to strengthen our mental health, to be able to stand still and strong in the face of adversity, for us to be able to pivot quickly when there’s changes, for us to be able to be focused and present and productive at work, at home and out in the world. It’s really up to us. It’s all about you making Time to Be Kind to you and prioritizing your mental health and wellness. The MANkind Summit was the opportunity to do that. And again, I just want to thank recognize, acknowledge, celebrate, applaud all the beautiful people that took me up on this invitation and made Time to Be Kind to elevate your Mental Awareness Now. If you missed it, you’re listening and you’re like, what, what was this event about? Where was I? Why didn’t I go? Or you didn’t go because it was three days and you’re like, I don’t have time for three days, right? We actually had a whole session about moving from time management to time ownership so that you can find out that you actually got time.

12:04 Marly Q

I got Time to Be Kind to me. I got Time to Be Kind to others, right? Kindness doesn’t take any time. If anything, it gives you time and energy to actually experience your life in a more enriched way and to actually connect with other people and build quality relationships that elevate wellness. Because at the end of the day, if you are surrounded by quality relationships that will elevate your wellness and get you through absolutely anything that you might be going through. You don’t have to get through anything in life alone. And what I believe we all need is a QREW, not just any QREW, a Kind QREW. Allow me to be your kind guide.

12:38 Marly Q

So if you’ve been tuning into Time to Be Kind with Marly Q every week since we launched this season two. Then you know, we’ve been promoting, we’ve been inviting you to join our kind crew. It’s our free private Facebook group page. And it’s grown to well over 350 people by now, which is amazing. And it only grows by you joining and inviting other kind leaders and kind people to join our movement to spread kindness worldwide. And at the MANkind summit, I got to share an invitation to join our kind QREW plus, which is our paid membership, where every single month we meet, have a scheduled self-care date, you and I and our QREW, we meet to practice self-care. We practice doing our best way to stress less with a guided meditation so that we can actually pause, reflect on the month, share some wins, share some losses or share what I need.

13:32 Marly Q

Every month you get to actually pause and reflect so that you can see your own growth, so that you can be supported by community and actually make meaningful relationships, meaningful connections. QREW is an acronym for Quality Relationships Elevate Wellness. I believe that quality relationships elevate wellness and it is up to you, me and we to connect ourselves with each other. And that’s really the purpose here of Time to Be Kind with Marly Q and the MANkind Summit is to build community, real meaningful community. And at the MANkind Summit, I was just in tears with joyful overwhelm of the meaningful connections that were made in that room day one, day two, and day three. I want to thank our, our Kind QREW members that joined us. So if you’re listening, I want to give a shout out to our new Kind QREW members, Barbie Garcia, Denise Jomarron, Amy Burgess, Aileen Martinez and some founding members who are coming back, Michelle Soebi-Smith, Kat Haber, Dr. Betsy Guerra, Brian Lemerman, Luly B. and Carolina Williams. Thank you for joining our Kind QREW Plus. Thank you for committing to making Time to Be Kind to you on a monthly basis. And together we can hold ourselves kindly accountable to our self-care goals.



If this message resonated with you, then go on over to MarlyQ.com, click the join Kind QREW Plus button and join us MAN. Each and every month we make Time to Be Kind and practice self care. I offer a quarterly planning workshop for my kind crew members that costs $297, but it’s free for you to attend. You get access to my online course, to my guided meditation. You get access to the MANkind summit itself for free next year. And you also get access to the replay videos from this year’s MANkind summit and last year. So it’s an absolute no brainer. Join my Kind QREW Plus by visiting this episode’s show notes. The link will be right there for you to join. All right, MarlyQ.com forward slash this episode number will get you straight there. Thank you for making this Time to Be Kind with me today and hearing my little recap and fast forward of the MANkind Summit. There’s gonna be so much more coming your way as soon as we’re able to get these videos and bring this content down to share with all of you. Thank you for making this Time to Be Kind with Marly Q. I’ll see you next time.

Join our Kind QREW – Free Private Facebook Group:  Click here to Join Now

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